I like to think it a success when the cops are called
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
