i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
