If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
