Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
