Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
