I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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