i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
