Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They have beer where we have blood.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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