i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
