you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
