do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
