Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
its not stalking. its research.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
