i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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