I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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