Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
