I can text with my tongue
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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