I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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