He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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