Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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