Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
organizing the empties. That sober.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
