1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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