My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
