he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
