I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
