and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
