You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
