You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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