Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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