I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
