I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
