she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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