This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
