went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize