All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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