Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
