butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish I only lived at night.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
