Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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