sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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