My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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