in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize