Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
