THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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