I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
