Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
