I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I want a musical about memes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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