Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
