He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
