Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This is my gift to your gina
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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