If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
