She even gives head with a lisp.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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