He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
