He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
