Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
