It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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